Everyone goes into marriage with the best intentions at heart. Most couples actually understand that marriage requires work and will give in their all to ensure that the marriage works. But sometimes, even your all may not be enough to avoid separation or divorce.

Most of the reasons why married couples argue and fight are often intertwined. For example, someone is likely to engage in extramarital affairs if there are other problems experienced in their marriage, like communication or financial difficulties. But as long as both spouses are willing to work together, a skilled Orange County family law attorney can help them save the marriage.

What Can Cause a Married Couple to Fight?

Arguments can happen just about anything. And a marriage can break because of slight reasons. However, these are the most common arguments among married couples.

Lack of Affection

Most couples will argue because of a lack of commitment and taking each other for granted. One spouse may start seeing the other hanging out with friends more than with them. One spouse may also notice that they don’t receive the attention they need when holding a conversation with the other spouse.

This kind of behavior may drive one of the spouses crazy. Going out for dates and appreciating your partner may be seen as showing affection and providing attention to your spouse. More keenly, try to understand your spouse’s love language and how they interpret love.


Infidelity or adultery is one of the top reasons for divorce n marriages. This doesn’t have to be face to face but could also be through messaging and social media platforms like Facebook. The reasons for cheating are personal. It is usually the biggest form of betrayal that often is the beginning of the end of the marriage.

While some people go outside the marriage for excitement, intimacy, or distraction, others may provoke the other spouse to end the marriage. The best way you could resolve issues of infidelity is by rebuilding trust. You may need an Orange County mediation lawyer to help you reconcile back together and overcome the challenge.

Lack of Physical Intimacy

Conflict about physical intimacy primarily arises when one spouse has a higher sex drive than the other. S/he may initiate sex only to be rejected, which may strain the relationship. When facing such problems, try to go for couples’ therapy to resolve the matter.

Chores and Responsibilities in The Home

Arguing about chores and responsibilities can harm your marriage significantly, especially if you have young children. One spouse starts to feel like they are carrying more weight than the other. The main reason for arguments surrounding chores and responsibilities is because of the traditional division of labor along gender lines.

The best way to handle this is to decide how you want your shared home to look like, what it would take to keep it the way you like, and then split the work among yourselves.

Financial Disagreements

Money disagreements and arguments concerning money are among the top reasons people divorce or go for marriage counseling. When a couple is having money problems, the stress often puts a strain on the marriage.

You may know that you have different financial goals if:

  • The two of you don’t regularly or calmly talk about finances
  • You set your financial goals together, but one of you subverts them
  • Secret purchases and secret investments
  • Not consulting when making big purchases that affect both of you

When there’s little to go by, there’s a higher probability of a couple fighting over money issues. Make use of an Orange County mediation lawyer when faced with such problems and prevent a total collapse of your union.

Dominance and Control

Power dynamics in relationships are common and can shake up the marriage. One spouse may feel like the other partner is domineering over the marriage. Some spouses can also become jealous to the point of being possessive of their partners. If there’s independence in the relationship, both spouses are free to pursue their interests and have time for shared activities outside of the marriage, and then the marriage will grow.

Telling White Lies

If the marriage has big secrets or has many broken promises, there’s a likelihood of fights even if the lies don’t involve big deceptions like affairs. The best way to handle untruths is to face them.

Expecting Partner to Be Like When You Were Dating

Change is great. But it could be a problem when a partner feels the other is changing and they’re being left behind. A healthy couple is one that helps and supports one another to grow.

What Can We Do to Resolve Regular Arguments?

If you keep n having the same arguments without resolving them, it may be time to seek the help of a marriage therapist for help. You need to identify and defeat any recurrent patterns that threaten our marriage.

Family-Oriented Professionals Helping California Couples Facing Conflicts

Most couples have gone through at least one of these arguments in their marriage. While some arguments like domestic violence are more harmful and serious, not all arguments should necessarily lead to divorce. As long as both couples are committed and willing, an Orange County mediation lawyer can help married couples resolve their issues.

Sometimes it is difficult to make a troubled marriage work. If you’ve already been arguing for quite some time, you probably don’t have the energy to fight anymore. That’s why we may advise you to pursue an alternative dispute resolution like mediation instead of going through a divorce in court.

Our law firm has well-trained and experienced mediators for you and your family. If you wish to understand how mediation works, talk to us today for more. Book a FREE case evaluation with us today.