Divorce can be difficult to navigate. The road is unfamiliar and not even the best GPS can deliver you safely to the other side. To keep yourself on the right road, we have compiled a list of seven important things to remember when divorcing. Follow these guidelines to avoid wrong turns.
- Do not drag the kids into the divorce.
Leave the kids out of it. Putting the kids in the middle takes many forms: asking probing questions about the other parent’s activities and prying, using them as messengers, and talking negatively about their other parent. These are all cruel and damaging. Put energy into making the transition as easy as possible for the kids and schedule difficult conversations with your spouse for times when the children are not present.
- Do not run up debt.
Get your finances under control. Bankruptcy and divorce can go hand in hand for various reasons. If possible, agree to freeze or liquidate joint accounts and begin fresh. Learning to live on a smaller net income will benefit everyone. Not only will you avoid bankruptcy but you can also gain peace of mind that you can live quite well with less.
- Remain civil at all times.
Avoid angry communications that can wind up in court. Email, text and voicemail are not the places to express yourself in any angry or non-productive way. Imagine having to listen to your ten-minute tirade in the courtroom or have your texts read aloud.
- Do not spy on your spouse.
Don’t snoop or engage in otherwise sneaky behavior. Reading your spouse’s private messages is not illegal but it does beg for trouble. Any type of spyware used in this type of “information gathering” IS illegal and nothing obtained illegally is admissible in court. Recording phone calls without consent is another example of illegal activity and inadmissible information.
- Do not post indiscriminately.
Social medial is NOT your friend in divorce. Pictures, blog posts, check-ins and tweets can be accessed by your spouse’s’ attorney and used to paint an unflattering picture of you. Pictures of you at a party drinking alcohol can be taken out of context, as can extravagant trips or purchases. Your social media information is not private or protected by any means.
- Get support as needed.
Get support from a counselor, clergy or a qualified therapist. These resources can give you a safe place to vent, explore your possibilities and sort out how you want to handle your emotions at this tumultuous time.
- Find a reputable divorce attorney.
Consult a divorce attorney and spend some time gaining an understanding of the process and your rights and responsibilities. Knowing that you have an experienced professional on your side will give you peace of mind.
If you’re facing a divorce, don’t go it alone. Having someone by your side to guide you through the process can make your life much easier. Talk to the experienced California divorce attorneys at the Sarieh Law Offices. Receive a free 30-minute consultation by calling 714-542-6200 or contact us online.
