After a divorce, the thought of seeing your ex at your child’s special events may cause feelings of anger, resentment, and anxiety. From graduations to birthdays to your child’s college experience, you will have plenty of special events that require you and your ex to both attend. The feelings of anger and resentment can be hard to put aside, and may even eat away at you while preparing for these events.
While it can be difficult, there are things you can do to make the experience a little less strenuous.
How to Deal with Your Ex at Your Child’s Events
When dealing with your ex, there are a few things to keep in mind:
- Think of your ex as a business associate. While you may want to lash out at them, you want to keep it professional. Regardless of how unprofessional, annoying, or lack luster they are themselves. Just think of them as that annoying coworker that you have to deal with.
- Always insist on respectful and civil communications. Find a way to communicate clearly, without emotional confrontation. Avoid sensitive topics and never bring up the divorce at these events. By setting boundaries with yourself, as well as your ex, you may be able to avoid unnecessary conflict. If your ex does cross the line, determine how you will handle it, but never make a public scene.
- Remember that your personal life is just that – personal. You have a right to privacy and do not have to explain anything to your ex. You don’t have to defend your decisions or try to change their mind. The only communication you need are in regards to your children and nothing more.
- Ignore everyone else’s opinions. Do your best to ignore the opinions of friends and relatives. While your ex may have no issue discussing what is going on between you with others, do your best to refrain from bringing others into it. It can be tempting to listen to opinions or even have a complaint session with a mutual friend, but just keep in mind that doing so can make family events and special moments more awkward – especially if that friend or family member makes it awkward for your ex. Also, as tempting as it may be, do not try to find out what your ex is up to through friends or family either. Less is always more in these situations.
Create a Plan and Speak with an Attorney
Dealing with your ex at special events can be difficult, but if you establish a plan ahead of time it may become a little easier. Have an arrangement or even see about adding provisions to your custody agreement for how each party will act in these types of settings. If your ex is continually crossing the line, speak with an attorney at Sarieh Law Offices. Schedule a free consultation at 714-542-6200, or contact us online with your divorce questions.